Things were going so great. Feeling so good. Staying within myself, staying quiet. Not trying so hard, not overextending myself. Thanks to the patience of an expert to help me through these kinds of situations, I’ve been doing very well lately. Money well spent, I gotta say.
He told me I needed to stop being an engineer so much and approach things more as an artist. Playful, free. Staying in the moment and not worrying about the outcome. Then I turned the corner. I got anxious. Slipped into an old habit I’ve been working incredibly hard to minimize. I got in trouble. I couldn’t get out of the rut and in the blink of an eye, it all unraveled. I lost it. Spiraling in the infinite shape of a figure eight. A snowman.
But the difference these days, I quickly adjusted and found my way again. When you enjoy something that much, you do what it takes to work at it. You fight for the clarity. It is never easy. Ever. Sometimes it gets away from you and you just have to wait till it comes back. More often than not, it does. Just showing up is half the battle. It will always be fecking frustrating. That’s why God gave it a four-letter word.
Golf.
In golf, getting an eight on a par four is quadruple bogey. A snowman.
All you can do is adjust and keep your swing thoughts: Stay. Show up. Two holes later, I made birdie. And so it goes, in golf, in love, in life, even after a snowman, you always have it in you to make birdie.
